First you wish for a fun filled holidays, next I find myself wishing i'd never wished that. For once, a quiet and boring holidays where I have all the time in the world to myself seems perfect.

I am sick, ill. whatever you call it. Viscous phlegm is stuck all over my red and inflammed throat and tonsils. I want to cough the darn thing out but each time I cough it feels as if my throat is coming apart. I'm happy the sore eyes are gone. A day ago, I couldnt even open my eyes when I woke up. Pus and everything gooey had formed a crust that sealed my eyelids shut. I am feeling so crap. crap crap crap.

I'm missed many a band practice already. I need to practise. Sometimes I wonder why it is always about band. For the past 6 years, everything has always been about band. Is it really worth the sacrifice? Do I love it that much to give away most of my holidays. My parents tell me to just cancel the whole darn thing and call it off, but would it be fair to my friends? I really dont know. I'm feeling quite dispirited about the whole thing already.

I'll just go close my eyes and dream about the holiday I've always longed for once again. Maybe if I sleep enough it'll just come true/

drummed at 8:52 PM;